Second Semester Depression is REAL? (Sep 2026)

SUICIDAL THOUGHTS MENTIONED - READ AT YOUR OWN RISK (I'll try to soften it with a shitpost-esque writing style.)

01. Introduction

I have been ONE of many unlucky individuals to have experienced "Second Semester Depression", or whatever it's called.

Basically, it's a phenomenon where you're depressed! on the second semester of your freshmen year! Ain't that fun! 🤑

Lowkey it is NOT a fun thing to experience ya'll, trust me on this one. 😭

02. The Beginning

So! Second semester, all your whimsy and excitement from your first semester is now, poof, GONE! That's right, if you think you can stay whimsical after Calculus I then either you must be VERY special, or psychopathic. 😇

That's right, say goodbye to the College Acceptance Letter TikTok edits era. It didn't last long anyway 🙏.

For me, I was living at a dormitory by that time, my roommates were definitely not my type of people, so I basically just do my shit alone, be it the Gym or just meals in general. Occassionaly, I go and eat out with my buddies, shout out to Mikey "Ahrial" Lena (not his real name), pretty awesome guy.

I did CTFs, mainly Forensics, well, as you can see by all these... blog post (you MUST READ THEM). Pay attention since this is gonna be VERY important later on, but probably not.

I was going by my days pretty neatly, on weekdays I get to go to class with my buddies, or have a morning cup of coffee on campus (located at the goatest city ever, no air pollution holy shit) and just go home on weekends!

02.1 The Cracks in the Foundation

You all know what a Dunning-Kruger effect is right, it's... it's this fucking graph! Linux users all know it, probably.

Basically in this context, it's when you're starting out, you feel lost and don't know shit, few attempts in and you feel like a GENIUS! A few more attempts and you realize, you actually don't know JACK SHIT 🤑. And the rest is history.

So in the beginning, I had experience with Systems and stuff like that, well, by using Linux from high school, and I was doing pretty well in CTFs, I thought I was a genius! So my ego was VERY high, basically, the peak that you see in the graph.

Of course, there wouldn't be anything to tell if the entire thing didn't follow the graph, so you'd probably guess what happens next. My performance fell off, hard. I couldn't solve some nilly-willy questions of a random CTF competition, and that basically had my shit straight nuked off. 🤑

My teammates were doing pretty well, or that's just me. But everyone was doing so well! With their premium AI chatbot subscription, of course, of which I am NOT buying, ever.

So the first pillar to my identity, which is Forensics, cracked, and I lost the sense of excitement for it, and I basically just stopped doing it altogether until very recently.

And that's like, not very great? I deliberately chose Cybersecurity because it was my interest from the love of Systems, but, with all of this happening, did I make a mistake in choosing my major?

But hey! That's just one interest, right? I got loads more! I'll be fineeee... is what I would've said if this blog post didn't have to be made. 😇

03. Connections

So I'm very much an outgoing guy, I like hanging out with people I know well, I mean everybody does so...

Back in high school, connection was EASY, you have a class full of people you have already known for like, what, 3 years? It was really easy, just go to class and just, talk to your friends! Occassionally I come over for a hangout in the weekends!

Then all of that disappeared when I went to College. I stayed at a dorm somewhere pretty far away, not too far, but you know what I mean. I did have friends on campus at the moment, but none were as close as I was with my high school buddies, and I don't see them very often anymore, which is, a little sad for me. But hey, it's life, we all have to go eventually. That's what I keep telling myself then, albeit NOT at the right time.

So yeah it does get pretty lonely. The loneliness by itself doesn't really do much. It's what life has introduced me to!

04. Larping

So basically from where I live, in College you have to partake in a compulsory National Defence course, where you have to stay at a dorm for like, 3-4 weeks to get your politics and military shit in. In other words, we get to larp as soldiers. Yeah.

PS: Shout-out to Duncan "Gnomeright" Gerald.

For the first few days, it was pretty weird, I didn't like the new environment too much, but after a while it was very fun, I actually enjoy living with so many people again, because connection was easy, I felt so happy being around my roomies, and I got attached, too... attached. 🤑

Yeah you can see where this is going. So when it ultimately ends, I go home, not at the dorm anymore, but at home, that's like three living spaces changed in a month, harsh. And it got very, VERY, VERITY lonely at home, so much so that I begin to rely on my two buddies too much.

05. Buddies

So I have two buddies, I'm gonna call them Daniel and Nathaniel (gasp it's the Iels!). I occassionaly hangout with them.

In this state though, my thirst for connection was very high, it simply can NOT be quenched. So I did what sounded logically... sound. I hung out with them! Shrimple! Well I hung out with Nathan a lot more often.

Little by little, my life has shrunk so much that the next thing I was waiting in life was "When is the next hangout?". So you know it's already fucking bad. 🤑

This was by far the worst month yet. There was a week where I just don't wanna do anything, it got really bad, I felt hopeless and just want to escape dealing with it, I doomscrolled, doomscrolled and mostly stay at home. Because what the fuck was I supposed to do? Go outside? Hmm, maybe that was a good idea, who knows.

In the same weekend, my grandparents told me to come over for food, and I thought, maybe I'll go hangout at Nathan's, there's like nothing to do anyway. So I hit the local cafe where I usually sat at back in High School. And hit bro up for the usual. Well, let's just say he's busy that day, I mean for a regular dude I'll just pack up and go home and do my shit but. Dude, I wasn't at the best state then, it was like a stab to the gut (sorrrryy Nathan).

To make matters worse, I planned another hangout another day, just badminton hangout, simple! Well, I mean, I had class that day. Got home late cause I missed the bus, and the entire plan was gone, well it's not like it was going to come to fruition anyway. Mf Nathan called me that noon and instead of asking about the details he just ask how do I fix this KDE thing. Fuck you Nathan. 🙏

I sure hope Nathan isn't gonna read this icl 💀 Sorry Nathan.

06. Fitness and Shit

So I'm very much a gym person, I do 4 sessions a week, pretty cool. I was on a roll really, until one day I got sick and couldn't go to the gym for a while. So I'm just left in my dorm room with NOTHING to do. And frankly, that got me a little suicidal and shit. And by little... I mean I was straight up looking at the tallest building and was straight up thinking:

"If I deadass jumped down from there would anybody give a fuck?"

Well the scariest part is how the FUCK did it get THIS BAD in just TWO DAYS? The suicidal thoughts retreated after I get to go workout again though, keyword is "retreat".

...Yeah it's been a real LONG year. Pack it up sonion ring ✌️.

So last month I had a surgery, and I had to stay at a hospital for 4 days, and you know what that means! No gym for at least a month! I can't imagine how this will go bad!

I laid on the floor, blasting metalcore just to numb the thoughts of leaving, I wan't to escape, I really want to, but I don't want to die, I still want to see my friends, but if I can't be okay without my friends then who am I? My entire thought process.

Yeah so with my two senses of identity gone, I really don't have a significant purpose in life anymore. And where does that lead me? My buddies, and the hangouts, which, is like the only thing that reminds me that I have an identity. 🤑

And it got into a pretty bad feedback loop. So much so that even my friendships has started to crack. Because, well, with everything going on, I started treating my friends, not just Nathaniel or Daniel, almost everyone I thought of as therapist. I mean it's okay to talk to your friends but, this is outside of their capabilities.

07. The Oh Noes and the Woes

This overreliance lead to me and Nathan having to "sort it out", well technically we didn't even solve SHIT. In the fight I basically bailed out of my needs. 😇

Well Nathan and I didn't see the friendship in the same lens and that got me pretty fucked up. Ouch.

That was rough, I basically had all the answers I wanted, Nathaniel didn't really want to work with me or anything. Sooooooooo, well I basically had to accept it how it is. It is how it is how it is. (with three it is'es.)

Well but saying I don't hate Nathan is probably a lie. So at the moment I came up with best-est devilishest and most VILE plan ever. I'd like, give him the most thoughtful birthday gift ever, and, well, to NEVER talk to him again. 😇

"Genius, I know" - Literally No One

But, on the day of the birthday, like, he was so happy to have recieved the gift, that, well, the plan basically fell off completely, and I had to find a new way to redirect the hatred.

This was what it felt like in the moment by the way. 🤑

08. Aftermath

Well, class started again, so connections were back, and my interest for Forensics came back too! And this week I was coming back to the gym again.

I got closer to my college friends. Picked up a guitar and shit. I got really interested in bikes. Which, I hope is just a phase. 😭

I'm still trying to recover trust with my old buddies again, haven't gone that well, I can't promise it'll be the same nor that I want to be friends again after, but it is what it is. (what it is).

Overall, it has been pretty well and dandy, I have been recollecting my thoughts and process everything in a much saner state.

09. TL;DR

• A lack of novelty or new stuff in life can also cause this, so here's what I did:
• Discover new Music!
• Go to class. Get busy. No like, for real.
• Get some hobbies! Creative hobbies are important, especially if you're majoring in Computer-Science-adjacent majors.

Above all else,

stay.

Yours truly,

David "devobass" Welsh